Monica's life as wife and mother

Ted and I got married June 5, 1999, about 8 1/2 years after we met. (But we were apart for 2 1/2 of those years) So we have been together for like 17 years. Our 10 year anniversary is Friday. We gave up downsized our honeymoon in order to buy a great condo, and agreed to take our cruise for our 10 year. It is not gonna happen. The economy is so crappy.

We were doing better financially in the first few years of marriage than in the past 4. Isn't that opposite than it should be? Each year is financially harder. At first, it really bothered me, and it was a hard adjustment for Ted and I. Me losing my job...his on the line constantly. But you know what? I learned something really super important. I think Ted has too. I can be happy without the finer things, and with my daughter having autism, and not dressing up for work and carrying a briefcase, and If I had to sell my house to downsize that's fine too.

I personally went through some extremly difficult times trying to figure out how to fix Miranda, to control Miranda, to figure out what I did to make her autistic, why my kid? Well, I sought out help in many areas. Therapy for she and I separatly was first, and it opened up several avenues for more help. I learned that Miranda didn't need fixing. She needed help learning things babies and toddlers usually pick up instinctivly. From that point on I just worked and waited until I could see improvement...proof that she can and will live a normal life. Because they said she will. It is slow and hard, but they were right. I am lucky to have this child, and she is lucky to have me.

Losing my job was a blessing in disguise. If I had to work full-time and be away from home 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, and still bring work home, then how on earth would Miranda have come to learn what she has so far? She needed me. God works in mysterious ways.

And Malorie...I was not sure I wanted another baby. But we did it anyways. She has helped me to find laughter and love where I thought I had lost it all. When I was day-dreaming about hitting the road, and was deep in depression that I denied, Malorie joined us. She was born to us a week or so after my Aunt Debi passed away. Right at the start of my sister having troubles in her life. Troubles that made me even more sick. Malorie seemed to be my only source of joy and love. I was numb to everything else positive, and only felt negative. So very unlike me.

Ted's job takes its toll on us, but at least he has one. When things were so bad for me, he was working afternoons travelling from Chesterfield to Flat Rock. I am pretty much a single mom of 2. Even when he's home he is sleeping. We are on opposite schedules. Maybe that's why we are still together...lol. Anyways, when I needed him, he had no choice but to be gone. My sister was also MIA. I really had nobody to understand me except my closest friends, Veronica and my mother-in-law Carole. Veronica helped me laugh, and Carole let me cry. Both women are so important to me. My mom was there too sometimes, but she was wrapped up in some personal things that were important, and I didn't want to burden her. She was dealing with the loss of her sister, and with my sister's issues. Plus my dad had a heart attack, and lost his job. She didn't need to hear me cry.

So here I am, 36, married 10 years, 2 great kids ages 6 and almost 4. I work at Starbucks. Money is very tight. My husband's job is uncertain. My sister is wonderful. My Miranda is thriving, and I can feel positive things again. Love, laughter, joy. I am in remission from my depression. Would I do this all again? YOU BET!